Knowing What You Want Is the Most Important Step Toward Getting What You Want in Life—and Leading Other People Along the Way
The Alpha male is a leader who finds ways to get what he wants in life. At the same time, he enthusiastically helps other people get what they want too. Those key distinctions are what separate leaders from followers.
To become a more effective leader, you must decide on exactly what you really want from every situation you encounter; make those decisions quickly and confidently; and practice these skills on a continual basis.
Before you can effectively lead other people, you must know how to effectively lead your own life—and that process begins by knowing exactly what you want in every situation that you encounter.
In his most powerful and confident mental state, the Alpha male decides on what he wants; plans a course of action, and then tenaciously finds a way to make it happen. To other people, the Alpha male’s result-driven way of thinking and doing may seem as if it comes naturally to him. Contrary to how it may appear, this is an acquired skill that the he has practiced and exercised for years. This accumulation effort and time has made what was once a deliberate plan-of-attack for him now a subconscious habit.
That’s encouraging news for you if you already know that you must improve in this area of your life. With enough effort and time, you too can make the Alpha male’s mindset part of your habitual way of thinking. You, too, can take action and get really what you want like a powerful and charismatic Alpha male.
You must first ask yourself what it is that you want before every situation that you encounter even begins. This will help you make the best use of your effort and time. This must become your normal thinking process before you begin simple, short-term activities; complex, long-term tasks; and everything in between.
It’s a big mistake when people just “show up” mentally and physically in life—and merely hope that things turn out well. What chance do they really have of controlling their outcome? Unfortunately, many of them don’t realize how disempowered they’ve become and that there is a far more effective approach.
You can’t just wake up in the morning and hope it turns out to be productive day without knowing exactly what will make it productive for you the moment you open your eyes. You can’t just arrive at the gym and hope that your weight training or cardiovascular training session will be a great one for you without knowing exactly what will make it great before you take your first step into the building. You can’t just show up at your job the first day, do only what you are told, and hope that you’ll eventually get a promotion without deciding that’s what you want to work toward. Although it’s possible to have a great time with a friend without much thought, your chances will improve dramatically if you take 10 seconds to determine what will make it a great time for you before your visit begins.
While you are asking yourself what you want, make sure that you asking for what you really want—and not settling only for what you think you can get. This is another major difference between an Alpha male and less dominant and Beta men.
Replace the “I wonder what I could get out of this situation?” mentality with “What do I really WANT in this situation?” This may seem like a slight difference but, in the real world, there is a massive difference between each mindset and approach.
Don’t just sit down wherever the hostess at the restaurant chooses to seat you. If you see a table that you really want by the window and it’s empty, ask for it! If it’s too cold in the meeting room, ask the person in charge if the temperature can be turned up a little. If a person at the gym is next to the heavier dumbbells and isn’t using them, politely ask them to switch places with you. Don’t just take what’s dished out to you and the game of life. Ask for what you really want. You’ll discover that the vast majority of the time, other people will happily oblige.
Less dominant and Beta males are always compromising—even when a compromise isn’t even necessary. This is a natural and very logical approach that less dominant and beta males mistakenly believe is being fair to both parties involved. They’ll think to themselves “I really want ‘this.’ It would be awesome if it worked out that way—but I bet that they’ll only give me ‘that.’ I’ll suggest a compromise that’s somewhere in between ‘this’ and ‘that’ instead.” Most of the time, all they needed to do was ask for what really they wanted—and would have probably gotten it.
Less dominant and beta males will take themselves through this back-and-forth thinking process before the negotiation with another person even begins. They oftentimes unconsciously take this approach and then wonder why they never seem to get what they really want in life. There is no mystery here. These mediocre results that they actually negotiated for are certainly not happening by accident.
When deciding what he really wants in his life, the powerful Alpha male makes those decisions quickly and confidently. You, too, must learn to be quick and decisive when identifying what you really want as you strive to become a more effective leader.
You learn how to make decisions quickly and confidently by making as many of them as possible and any time you can. It doesn’t matter how big or small the decisions you make are, just make as many of them as you can. If you are asked how an important and involved project is going to turn out by you superior at work, quickly and confidently tell him what you think. If you are eating at a restaurant with a group of friends and the waitress asks what you want to order, make your decision quickly and confidently. There is nothing more appealing and charismatic to other people than a man who can make decisions. And, gentlemen, there is probably nothing more unappealing and unattractive than a man who belabors over the simplest decisions in life.
Just like building muscle through exercise in the gym, you will start building your “decision-making muscle” the more you exercise making decisions.
So, what if you jump into the decision-making mode and make some bad decisions? You can always make adjustments to your decisions or make entirely new decisions later if needed or when you have more information. You can’t make be afraid to make decisions if you want to become a more effective leader. And, you can never make any decisions based on fear. Any decision that based on fear is always the wrong decision.
This is another key difference between the Alpha male and less dominant and beta males. Less dominant and beta males will go through the process of collect massive amounts of information before making any decision. They also invest a lot of time before making any decision. If a decision that they’ve made doesn’t turn out to be the best one, they take themselves through the entire, extremely-involved process all over again collecting even more information and investing even more valuable time.
The more decisions you make, the greater your chances for more victories. In life, it is the number of victories that you experience—not a higher percent of victories compared to losses—that will eventually get you where you want to go.
The Alpha male accumulates as many victories as he can in the shortest period of time. He isn’t overly concerned how any of his so-called “losses” might affect his ego because he is so focused on the results he wants. He doesn’t concern himself with how he may look in other people’s eyes. He never allows their opinions affect what he chooses to do.
Less dominant and beta males are overly concerned with how many “losses” they will suffer. Although the less dominant and Beta males might achieve a higher percentage of “victories” versus so-called “defeats” taking this route, the Alpha male enjoys a significantly higher number of victories during the same time period simply because he has made so many more decisions. Less dominant and beta males are overly concerned with how their losses might affect their more fragile egos and how badly they might look in other people’s eyes—and that greatly hinders their ability to make decisions.
The more clearly you know exactly what you want out of every situation in life, the better. When you get better at knowing exactly what you want, the very best opportunities and options that you will create for yourself in life will dramatically increase for you and the people you lead.
Just like most of the things that you do in life, there is always a higher, more accomplished, and more proficient level you can operate at. The higher level you can operate at in anything in life, the greater the rewards you will enjoy.
Taking your “knowing exactly what you really want mindset” to the next level is no exception. With enough focus, assessment, and practice, you will see that, whatever level you are at now, it will pale in comparison in the future. That is, of course, if you do the continual work needed to improve.
If you THINK it–you must DO it.
Skip La Cour
P.S. Take a “leap of faith” and allow me to guide you through your own MANformation and take your confidence and leadership skills to higher and higher levels. I will NOT let you down. Check out the MANformation “The Mindset and Action of a Powerful Alpha Male Leader” 11 1/2-hour audio seminar course with workbooks and videos at www.MANformation.com and order it today. If you THINK it–you must DO it!