There’s a lot of talk these days about living a “balanced” life.
The more I think about it, this topic is one that has been discussed and debated all the time throughout my entire adult life. Well, at least among the type of people who I’ve spent the majority of my time around.
I think social media has just made it more visible and a more highly-debated issue because we can’t help but notice how other people choose to live their lives and compare their decisions to our own.
I’ll be totally honest. I’ve never been able to find the type of balance in my life that most people online profess to the be the “right” way to live. Many of their definitions don’t even come close to the ambitious target that I’m shooting for anyway.
I’ve always struggled to find that “perfect balance” of how to allocate my limited and precious resources of willpower, focus, energy, and time so that I’d live an amazing, productive, and meaningful life. Not only during the here and the now, but also in a way that would set me up for an awesome future.
The target that I was shooting for was to be incredibly successful at what I did for a living, enjoy my daily life, really connect with the people I cared about, all while leaving a positive, long-lasting impact on the world long into the future.
That’s not too much to ask, is it?
Although I could do pretty well at one or two areas at the same time, that always came at the expense of the others.
I failed miserably at being what most people on the internet would describe as balanced.
I was in my own head trying to be happy most of the time so I really didn’t care much about what other people’s definitions were.
I failed miserably at my own definition.
Looking back, I can also say that I failed at finding balance according to the opinions of just about every single one of the important people in my life too.
Now, when it comes to not meeting other people’s expectations of how I should balance my life, there are a lot of reasons besides what was on the surface. I’ll write about those as our relationship develops during this blog.
One thing that I can say with certainty is that, if you don’t have a clearly defined definition of what balance in life means to you on a conscious and deep emotional level, it’s going to be impossible to construct rock-solid “frames” to any relationship you’re in.
The people in your life won’t know what they’re signing up for in the relationship they have with you when you have no clue of what you’re asking them to sign up for.
You can’t blame anyone else for not supporting your direction in life when you really don’t have one.
That’s a lot of unnecessary stress for both sides of any relationship you are in because your expectations are unrealistic.
I eventually developed a better understanding of the concept of “balance” in life. I developed the belief that it has to be measured over longer periods of time than what the vast majority of people think. Balance simply couldn’t be measured on a day to day, week to week, or even month to month basis. That would be unfair to both you and to the important people in your life. That’s too much pressure.
To be truly outstanding at any aspect of life, you are going to have to INVEST a disproportionate amount of your willpower, focus, energy, and time into one area of your life for at least for some period of time. That’s just what it takes.
You have to be patient and think about your long-term “ground game,” as I call it. The balance comes when you can take the benefits you’ve earned and neutralize any consequences that you suffered when being “imbalanced” and then getting better and better in some other area of your life.
We live in an extremely competitive world these days. The best options in life are awarded to those who are the most committed and most willing to invest their willpower, focus, energy, and time into becoming truly outstanding.
And, it doesn’t matter what your opinion is of how balanced you think the person or people you are competing with for the best options lives are or aren’t either.
Results are what matter most in life when you are competing mano e mano.
Maybe it’s always been this competitive for best experiences in life. I’m not sure. It really doesn’t matter though, does it? These are the conditions that we are living in. These are the conditions that we must make work for us, our families, and the people we care about.
Because we are so connected to each other these days because of social media, it is an undeniable fact that we can compare and contrast our experiences in life to other people.
Now more than ever, it is important for us to create a clearly-defined definition of what balance in life means to us on both a conscious and deep emotional level.
We must do that first in our own minds. Then, we’ll be able to establish strong, clearly-defined “frames” to the relationships that are important to us to make their lives easier too.
In my next blog post, I’ll explain exactly what my “Life – Work – Legacy Lifestyle Decision-Making Filter” is all about and how it’s helping me navigate my way and my family’s way through this amazing and oftentimes challenging adventure called life.
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