Leaders understand that disagreements, conflicts, and confrontations are not necessarily bad experiences that should always be avoided.
Disagreements, conflicts, and confrontations with other people will inevitably happen from time to time. The quality of your life will be determined by what you choose to do—and what you choose not to do—when you are challenged. What do you usually do? Do you stand up or step aside? Do you state your position with poise and confidence or do you rationalize why it’s better to just go with the flow?
How you handle disagreements, conflicts, and confrontations will depend on your beliefs about them. Many of your beliefs about how to handle conflict may have been formed years ago when you were taught to be a good little boy, don’t start any trouble, and make sure that everyone likes you. Now is the time to reevaluate your current way of thinking when it comes to resolving conflict with other people.
The Alpha male understands that disagreements, conflicts, and confrontations are bound to happen from time to time in the competitive world he lives in. The Alpha male does not view every single conflict as a negative experience. He understands that conflict is oftentimes a necessary step toward getting to the very best solution for both parties involved. He is mentally and emotionally prepared for conflict. The Alpha male welcomes the opportunity to effectively resolve conflict with other people when it occurs.
Have you heard the expression, “It’s not personal; it’s business”? Well, that’s exactly how the Alpha male views the occasional conflicts that occur in his life. “It’s not personal; it’s just what naturally happens sometimes when people interact.” One person isn’t necessarily wrong they just view the situation differently. Someone has to take a leadership role and determine the direction both parties follow.
Conflict resolution does not mean conflict avoidance. If you believe conflict avoidance is an effective strategy for get what you want in life, this is a belief system that must be eliminated immediately.
You must understand that you are not necessarily a “better” person just because you can successfully avoid these challenging situations. If fact, you are probably selling yourself short with other people by doing so.
Disagreements, conflicts, and confrontations are oftentimes important parts of the negotiation process between people that will eventually lead to agreements that can satisfy both parties.
Of course, it may appear that you are getting along well with people when conflict is avoided. At least, in the short run it will. How hard is it to stay out of other people’s way and give them what they want? The leaders in this world who get what they want in life would love for you to avoid conflict, get out of their way, and give them what they want.
If you spend a lot of time and energy avoiding disagreements, conflicts, and confrontation like the supposed “good little boy” you were taught to be many years ago, you must realize that, while you’ve been “successfully” avoiding conflict and have only gotten in five or so conflicts in the last couple of years, the other person who you are dealing with may have gotten into five conflicts before lunch today. Who do you really think is going to be more skilled, poised, confident, and comfortable when you go head-to-head with that person?
If you THINK it–you must DO it!
Skip La Cour
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