How Closely Do These Experiences Match Yours (on A Scale From 1 To 10)?


I know this is a long post but you might find it well worth your time (especially the LAST experience that I’ve listed) . . .


I’ve discovered that men who have a lot in common with me have followed me throughout my bodybuilding career and still do today on social media.

Here are some thoughts, feelings, and events that I’ve experienced throughout my life.

I’m curious. How closely do they match YOUR experiences?

First, read the ENTIRE list.

After you’ve read the entire list, please let me know how much you can relate to what you’ve read on a scale from 1 to 10.

(10 = “Damn, Skip! That’s me! . . . all the way down to . . . 0 = I can’t relate at all)

Please add any comments to the 1 to 10 rating, if you have any.


— Skip La Cour

✔️ You’re doing better than most. You know you shouldn’t complain too much. There are a lot of people who are in much worse situations. But you have talents and abilities that just aren’t yielding the better things in life that you want. You do the work but you just can’t seem to break through.

✔️ Do you often wonder if you’ll ever reach the potential that you know you have? The potential that people have been telling you that you have for a long time?

✔️ You’re willing to do the work. Unwillingness to put in the effort is not your challenge. You just need more certainty and confidence that your efforts will pay off.

✔️ Are you hardworking and consistent but you just can’t seem to make full use of the willpower, focus, energy, and time that you put in? Does it sometimes feel as though you’re “driving your car with the parking brake on”? Something seems to be dragging you down and neutralizing your efforts?

✔️ Do you pride yourself on being one of the hardest working people you know? The challenge for you is that it feels as though you’re only getting a fraction of what you deserve?

✔️ Do you finally learn the importance of major “life lessons” taught to you months or even years later? You know that, when the life lesson was presented, you were meant to learn it. It’s almost like you had a bodily reaction at that time. You remember the person, time, and place the message was delivered. But it didn’t sink in right away. You didn’t take action until months or even years later. Your life would have been much easier if you would have accepted the message and taken action much sooner. Maybe you still haven’t taken action on some of those important, powerful messages?

✔️ Have you had a lot of well-meaning mentors come and go over the years? It’s not really a big deal but those golden opportunities never materialized. What started off as such a promising, beneficial relationship just drifted away for whatever reasons. There was no disagreement or falling out between you and your mentor. Maybe you haven’t even noticed until now that I’ve mentioned it?

✔️ Do you sometimes “freak out” when you’re faced with a challenge? It’s not even a serious problem yet. You can feel a bodily reaction coming on long before it’s been proven to be a real problem? The challenge is still a long way from actually happening but you’re already imagining and preparing for the worst case scenario? It feels real to you. Even when things turn out fine, you have the same response at the first sign of the next challenge? It’s like your mind and body haven’t learned that, once again, things will probably turn out just fine. Have you even noticed? Do you see these reactions as just normal? Maybe you are so dead to this feeling because that’s just the way you’ve always reacted? Maybe your body is now numb to this physical reaction when you are under the stress of a potential challenge?

✔️ Do you want more control over the direction of your life? Do you feel too much of the direction of your life depends on the decisions of other people?

✔️ Do the people in your life tend to let you down? Do you prefer working alone? If anyone is going to let you down, you’d rather it be you and not someone else. Have you pretty much accepted that’s just the way people are? Do you wish you had more people in your life who were as straightforward, honest, and dependable as you?

✔️ Does time seem to be going by quickly? You don’t feel you’re making the progress you want as quickly as you want. Do you sometimes wonder if you’ll ever get “there”?

✔️ Does your past haunt you at times? Do you sometimes worry that your future can only be so good because of the events that have happened in your past?

✔️ Do you let things build up inside when you deal with other people? Do you tend to let things that bother you go? You try to be understanding. You hope that other people eventually do the “right” thing. Oftentimes they don’t. You finally lose it and really let them know about it. But you feel they “deserve it” because you’ve given them plenty of chances and time to do the right thing.

✔️ Do you look back and realize that maybe you were a little too hard on other people? Can you now see that they cared about you more than you realized in the past?

✔️ Are there some good people who really cared about you (and you cared about them) who are no longer a big part of your life? There was no major fight or disagreement with them that caused you to drift apart. You really like these people but, for whatever reasons, you no longer spend much time together?

✔️ You live by the motto “Where you show up in one area of your life, you show up in all areas of your life.” The challenge is that you are awesome in some areas of life but really suffer in others. You know you can do better in those areas you suffer in. You just can’t seem to figure out why. You just can’t figure out how to change this.

This is a BIG ONE:

✔️ Everyone seems to have this “one huge fear.” It’s this fear that other people will negatively see them in this one particular way. It would really hurt if other people saw you this way. For example: if people think they aren’t smart (dumb), aren’t successful (a loser), aren’t attractive (ugly), aren’t wealthy (poor; loser); aren’t the “right” race or ethnicity (discriminated against for something they have no control over). It may not be a big deal to other people but it’s a huge deal to us. It’s our worst fear. I wonder if you have this “one huge fear” that you’re aware of?

Do you find yourself getting mad at other people because your imagination gets the best of you? Do you assume you aren’t being treated fairly because they are seeing you the way you fear most? There’s no real evidence of this. It’s just a feeling you have. You have this feeling often. The feeling really intensifies when you have disagreements and periods of time when you aren’t seeing eye-to-eye with someone. It gets stronger if they don’t return your phone call, text, or email in what you feel is the appropriate length of time. That time period could be 10 minutes or 10 months, it doesn’t matter. That time period can be excruciatingly painful just thinking they are viewing you in this one specific way. It distracts you. It’s tough to concentrate on other important things in your life. These thoughts rob you of your willpower, focus, energy, and time. It’s almost uncontrollable even when you know you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. You feel bad about yourself because you’ve convinced yourself the other person is seeing you this way. Again, there’s no evidence they are. In your mind, you get mad at them and even have a counterargument ready, if it ever comes up. You are prepared to “call them out” and set them straight.

The interesting thing is that it almost never turns out to be the case. They weren’t thinking any of those negative things that you imagined. Even more interesting, you go through the same disempowering, controlling negative thinking pattern in the future over and over again despite the fact that you’re almost always proven to be wrong.



1 TO 10.


P.S. If this book passage moved you, make sure you read all of the others I posted too. Reach out to me after you do. Send me an email at [email protected]. Or, fill out the questionnaire at the bottom of each passage and submit it to me.

My Time On “The Big Black Couch”

Winning, Control, Thanksgiving Dinner, And Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwiches

The “Integrity Gap Illusion-Delusion”

A Mind That Is Stretched . . .

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On a scale from 1 to 10, how much can you relate to what you've read? (10 = "Damn, Skip! That's me! . . . all the way down to . . . 0 = I can't relate at all)

Please feel free to add any comments you'd like me to read about this post.

Please feel free to fill out the questions below to help me learn more about your specific situation.

What do you most want to change today?

Have you tried to change this before?

What have you attempted in the past that didn't work?

Why do you think it didn't work?

On a scale of 0-10, how important is it for you to achieve change today?

What other areas of your life do you want to change (if any)?

373830250 How Closely Do These Experiences Match Yours (On A Scale From 1 To 10)?


About Author

Skip La Cour

Skip La Cour is a coach, speaker, author, and entrepreneur. He is the creator of the MANformation Confidence and Leadership personal development program for men and was a six-time national champion drug-free bodybuilder. La Cour helps ambitious men understand and execute effective confidence, leadership, and influence skills so that they reach their biggest goals in life with more control, clarity, and focus. Feel free to email Skip at any time at [email protected] with your questions and comments. Or, call (213)973-8790.

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