The Alpha male is a leader.
He is the person who determines the direction that other people follow. It is his emotional level that sets the tone of the other people’s mood in the group. He willingly makes the majority of decisions for the group. His opinions carry a lot of weight and others instinctively have trust and faith in them. Often, other people have more trust and faith in the leader’s thoughts and opinions than they do in their own.
An effective leader is so influential, persuasive, and confident that he naturally draws other people into his way of thinking. He gets other people to enthusiastically want to live in his version of what reality is (or is not) without a lot of effort.
What happens when you and another person have differing opinions? Even a powerful leader will not have everyone agree with his opinion 100 percent of the time.
Whose opinion will be considered the “right” one? Most situations do not have a right or wrong direction—merely an opinion that’s legitimacy will be determined sometime in the future, if ever. Whose opinion will the other people in the group see as the right one? Who will emerge as the leader and who will be relegated to the followers?
The leader in any situation will be determined by which person becomes the most influential—and not by who has the right opinion.
How can you successfully persuade other people to your point of view? Of course, you ideally want to be considerate of other people’s feelings and respect their opinions. How do you lead other people in a harmonious fashion? Is that always possible?
A major challenge in communication occurs when a person is affected by how other people may react to the opinion he offers. A problem arises when a person tries too hard to be politically correct. A person’s communication style weakens when he tries to get other people to see things his way without offending them at the same time. Although his intentions may be honorable, the person who tries this approach is often extremely ineffective.
You must have confidence in your opinion when presenting it to other people and you must present it in a confident manner. And most importantly, you simply can’t try to climb into another person’s mind and guess how they are going to react to what you are going to say before you even say it.
Most people seek love, approval, and validation from other people to some extent. That’s just being a human being. However, some people NEED approval more than others do.
How about you?
Understanding this common element in human nature and how it affects the way you communicate with other people can either work for you—or against you. It all depends on how you use this powerful information that I am presenting in this month’s column.
One of the most important organizing principles to becoming a powerful, influential, and charismatic Alpha male leader is to either stop needing approval from other people—or do an awesome job of giving them the impression that you do not need their approval.
The Alpha male leader needs approval less than the other people in his group—or reveals that he needs it far less than the other people in his group.
There is a saying that goes “Nice guys don’t finish last. Pleasers do.” You simply can’t aggressively go for what you really want in life with 100 percent focus, effort, and enthusiasm while desperately trying to be a “nice guy” who pleases other people at the same time. It just doesn’t work.
Why? You will end up pleasing no one. You will end up being stuck “in the middle.” I suggest you start viewing being in the middle as a horrible and extremely ineffective place to be. You will never make yourself happy and you will never make the people you are trying so hard to please happy either.
The way you communicate with other people has a tremendous impact on the level of success you are able to experience in your life. You are ALWAYS communicating your thoughts, perceptions, and ideas to other people—whether you realize it or not!
The Alpha male is extremely aware of the fact that the vast majority of the way he communicates to the world (Studies have shown up to 93%) is done through his body language, facial expressions, eye movements, and voice qualities—and NOT the words he uses.
Your body language is extremely important when presenting your opinions to other people.
When you are making your point and trying too hard to please the other people, you can’t help but communicate incongruence. In other words, you will unintentionally transmit mixed messages through your body language.
You may be saying one thing with your words but your body language, facial expressions, eye movements, and voice qualities will inevitably tell a different story. Without realizing it, you will present a level of uncertainty in what you say. You will show a lack of confidence. You will communicate indecisiveness.
Aren’t you putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary mental and emotional effort just to neutralize your opinion?
This is what happens when you try to please other people when stating your opinions. You are leaving yourself open to be challenged by even the most disinterested and unqualified people. Just like animals in the jungle that sense weakness in their prey, other people will subconsciously sense weakness in your opinion and will not be impressed by it—no matter how logical it may be.
To make matters ever worse, you will never be respected when you flounder in the middle. And that’s a lot of effort to exert when all it earns is a lack of respect from other people.
Getting 100 percent approval should never be your ultimate goal. You will never get 100 percent approval from other people when you take a stand.
You want to earn other people’s respect. Although other people may not agree with your opinions, they will respect you as a person when you confidently take a position on one side or the other. People will respect you when you are decisive. People will respect you when you are passionate, competent, and focused. You’ll discover that other people will adjust to your way of thinking without much of a challenge when you present yourself that way.
Practice this MANformation mindset by quickly, concisely, and confidently stating your opinion any chance that presents itself in your day-to-day life. State your opinion with congruent body language during the times when it is important, not so important, and everything in between. “I can see both sides of the issues”; “What do you think”; or “It doesn’t really matter to me” are no longer options for you! Just like strengthening your muscles when you exercise in the gym, you will strengthen your ability to powerfully present your opinion and lead other people when you exercise this skill set every time you can.
Have the courage to just SAY it. Have the courage to just DO it. Have the courage to just BE it. Start teaching other people to live in your version of “reality.” Trust yourself. Trust that other people are fair and rational.
If you think it—you must do it!
I encourage you to adopt this as your new, empowering MANformation Mantra.
Skip La Cour
P.S. Take a “leap of faith” and allow me to guide you through your own MANformation and take your confidence and leadership skills to higher and higher levels. I will NOT let you down. Check out the MANformation “The Mindset and Action of a Powerful Alpha Male Leader” 11 1/2-hour audio seminar course with workbooks and videos by going here. You’ll get instant, lifetime access into the exclusive members only website. If you THINK it–you must DO it!